Killian the Ken Doll
by Darkly Dreaming
Summary: Emma takes Killian shopping for the Golds' wedding reception at Granny's.


A/N: Something I needed: Captain Swan shopping. Killian in normal clothes and marvelling at Dr. Scholl's insoles. With a little bit of Captain Charming at the end.

* * *

Gold and Belle were having their wedding reception at Granny's tonight and now that Emma had given in to her feelings for Killian it seemed she had given in to her urges to dress him as well.

Killian dutifully followed his lady love into the clothing shop, saving his wariness and distrust for when she was not looking. Emma looked just fine in her modern clothes (although in his opinion she looked best in bed sheets), but Killian had seen what these garments entailed while undressing her. For one, they were bloody difficult to get out of, if Emma's trousers were anything to go by.

And for another, he couldn't get the hang of those...zip things to save his life. He'd take buttons and ties any day.

But Killian would also do anything for his Swan, and what she wanted was to buy him new clothes and dress him up.

Apparently after seeing his old red vest she had decided she liked him in red, and so a red shirt was the first thing she sought. After finding one she liked she got a green one and a black of the same style. She stopped short at the sight of a bright cerulean faux-silk number, briefly flicked her wide eyes to his and back to the shirt, which she snatched up quickly.

"Alright, Killian. On to the pants."

_Fantastic._

She settled on black and dark blue denim, which she explained was a thick cotton. Apparently cotton was the fiber of choice in this realm, and leather was reserved for outerwear such as her jacket and boots.

"Here," Emma shoved the clothes she'd picked into his arms and pushed him into a small closet. "Try these on, I'll be right back."

Killian rolled his eyes and gave a bow of acquiescence. He chose a pair of black jeans and the blue shirt first, curious to know her reaction once on his body. It was bound to be interesting if it gave her pause just on the hanger.

She slid a package under the door and said, "Put one of those on before the jeans. The tag - or the stamp with the words - goes in the back."

Killian picked up the package and inspected it; modern undergarments. Why this realm felt it necessary to make everything colorful was beyond him. He chose the blue pair to match the shirt and pulled them on, then the trousers after, but paused at the zip. He still didn't like them.

"Do you have anything without this blasted 'zip' thing?" he called through the door. "I don't feel that's safe for a certain part of my anatomy that you've grown quite accustomed to."

He could almost feel her rolling her eyes at him. Her amusement was also evident as she quoted him. "Your discomfort is a cross I'm willing to bear."

He smirked and was about to sharpen his wit when she cut him off.

"Besides, that's what the underwear's for. Now come out and let me see."

He sighed, pulled the zip up, and fastened the button. A quick look in the mirror and he decided to tuck in his shirt. Not bad. The blue even brought out his eyes - no doubt what Emma had thought when she picked it.

Killian opened the fitting room door and stepped out, barefoot but dressed, a resigned smile on his lips. It quickly turned smug when he saw Emma's face; she practically drooled and he instantly knew it had been a good idea to let her have her way with him. He may be uncomfortable in the clothing of her realm, but so was she in his, and he knew his opinion of her when the tables were turned.

"Well, love," he said, turning in a circle. "What do you think?"

Emma stared unblinking at his chest. "I think we can get you some new boots and a shave and then I'll ravish you when we get home tonight."

Killian quirked an eyebrow. _You don't say._ "Well in that case I'll change and we can be on our way."

Emma, however, ripped the tags off of what he was wearing and said, "Keep those on. Put your shoes on. I'll go pay for this stuff. Meet me outside." Her sentences were short, betraying her distraction. These new garments could very well prove to be advantageous afterall.

That night at Granny's friends and family gathered to celebrate the joining of Mr. and Mrs. Gold.

Killian literally couldn't care less about the Crocodile's happiness, but his own demanded he partake in the festivities.

He glanced sideways at his love and wiggled his toes in his new boots. Killian had never stepped on anything so comfortable in his extremely long life. He'd have to demonstrate his gratitude later tonight.

A figure leaned against the bar next to him. "Lookin' good, _Killian_."

"I thought you were a married man, _Dave_."

David grinned and sipped his punch. "Nothing wrong with admiring the hard work my daughter's put into cleaning you up. I like the boots."

Kilian shifted his weight from one foot to another. "Mate, I don't know who this Doctor Scholl is, but he must be a bloody wizard. I feel like I'm walking on air."

Emma, who was close by, heard his words and stepped closer, putting her arm through his. "I did good, didn't I?"

"I still prefer buttons to zippers," he admitted. "But I do believe I may still be the best looking man here." He grinned that rogue grin she loved so much and she slapped his arm.

David looked afronted, however. "I beg your pardon, pirate, but I know a certain princess who would disagree with you."

Killian merely raised an eyebrow. "And I happen to know a certain princess who might agree with me. After all, she did dress me."

"Calm down, you two," Emma said. "You're very handsome, dad. And Killian...later."

David held a hand up. "I don't need to know." However, he continued to look at Killian, and gestured to his jewelery. "I noticed you decided to keep your accesories."

"Aye. I feel naked without them. Much as without my vest and coat, but they are being cleaned."

"Okay," David chuckled. "Jones is talking about being naked and you two seem very intensely not-touchy right now. Go. I don't want to see you like this. Make sure you're wearing your coat next time I see you."

Killian turned his gaze to his lady love and grinned. "Your father makes an excellent point, darling. Shall we?"

Emma smiled in return. "Let me just say goodnight to mom and the newlyweds. I'll meet you in your room?"

He winked and brought her wrist to his lips, pressing a kiss. "I do hope you're famished."

"Count on it."

"And that's my cue to go find my wife," David said. "Goodnight, Jones."

"And to you, mate."


End file.
